SETI NEWS FLASH, 5/22/02

By Ben Lee

There have been increasing reports of alien abductions in the last week or so. The most recent of them happens to be concerning somebody within King George V School in Hong Kong. Mr. Greenfield, a Caucasian with medium build was last seen on May 21st 2002 at 3pm in a mathematics lesson. The following day when students came to enquire about notes for an upcoming exam, he was never found and thought to be mysteriously vanished. There have been ongoing search parties on the lookout for him but as of today there have not been any significant breakthroughs.

Some of the other teachers have been interviewed around the lunch hour (names undisclosed for security), but all of them responded: "I've never seen him today. He isn't around in the staffroom." It has been concluded that he is currently MIA and have not been found within the last 24 hours and thus represent a growing part of the Hong Kong missing persons population.

NASA was also interviewed after the event. According to them, they have not seen any mysterious ship landings within the area from their satellites. They conclude that Mr. Greenfield could be captured by an alien strike force on Earth and is probably still at large within the school grounds.

They also added that it is a good opportunity to install SETI receivers in school and use the computers to run SETI scans when they are idle.

(OOC & OT: ARGH! Where ARE you??? I need my M1 notes...)
-Ben
>:(

Reply from Mr. Greenfield

Did you know there was an elephant called Francisco that happened to wander in the way of a camel. This caused the camel to undergo a sex change operation (a long story behind this part of the explanation that involves a geriatric goldfish, Jason Pang and the rampant sex crazed meanderings of twenty Byenas* - needless to say you'd only get confused if I went into full details - (either that or you'd get jealous of the Byenas))

Anyway - after the sex change operation, the camel (who, by the way was called Henry but is now known as Henrietta) went a little loopy and kidnapped sixteen teachers so that they could each take its picture (using a camelra) These images were then judged by the camel's father for originality and depth - the winner of which was allowed to live - the losers of which were executed most mercilessly. Unfortunately I was one of those losers - thankfully a nomadic Jupsiwhaffimalurgit from the planet Uk-uk-e-uk-uk (in the outer quadrant of Galapto 65) resurrected me in time to do PSE (so you were partially correct about the influence of aliens)

Hence your inability to find me (unless of course you were looking inside
a post box for me - I seldom hang out in post boxes)

* Note for the unitiated - a Byena is a little like a Hyena except one also says cheerio while the other others says hello

Alternatively I could just have been in school (including doing my duty in the quads at lunch time) and you happened not to have seen me ... but frankly I find that a tad unrealistic compared to the scenario with the camel.

Anyway, try and find me tomorrow or Friday. When do you need them by?

All the best,

...damn, I can't remember what my name is... must be a side-effect of the reincarnation

p.s. that was the most entertaining e-mail I have had for sometime - so
the temptation is there to intentionally avoid you to again obtain an
entertaining e-mail to enrich my poor, unexciting life

p.p.s.
> (OOC & OT: ARGH! Where ARE you??? I need my M1 notes...)
(YOUR M1 NOTES - I thought they were mine!!!)

p.p.p.s. there is no p.p.p.p.s.

p.p.p.p.p.p.s. but there is this p.p.p.p.p.s. so that the p.p.p.s. above
doesn't get lonely

this is jasonpang.net

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